Uni have completed a dismantle of North Fremantle on a successful day for the club with 6 wins against the magpies. We came away with 7 wins from 8 games as the Stormers were the only ones to go down in their first final.

The lower grades turn their attention to finals with the Pirates unfortunately not qualifying. The A stream will take on West Coast Cowan at home in their final match of the home and away season.

Steinepreis Paganin A-Grade 

University 9.10 64 defeated North Fremantle 8.5 53

The A Grade side extended their streak to 10 wins against North Fremantle, but not without a fight as they scraped over the line by 11 points in trying conditions. 

Gil Fraser Oval copped the full force of winter as the surface was muddy underfoot and accompanied by sheeting rain. The side started slowly out of the blocks as North Fremantle kicked the first goal within the opening minutes. With the absence of many key midfielders, Matt Davies & Lachlan McKay joined Lakey and Chaz Flint in the onball division as we rolled out a new look. 

North Fremantle had come to play, setting the tone throughout the first half with immense pressure and fast ball movement, making the most of their opportunities when going forward. Emerging defender Ben Culloton was rock solid yet again, showing the team why he’s been one of our most consistent players all year. The boys entered the half time break 7 points down with plenty of improvement required to win the game. 

Despite dominating the inside 50 count, the second half was an arm wrestle. Uni couldn’t make the most of their chances when going forward, unlike North Fremantle who were able to capitalise more often than not, kicking a few crumbing goals off the pack and out of congestion. When North Fremantle extended their lead with a goal halfway through the last quarter, key forward Leigh Kohlmann put the team on his back, booting 3 out of our next 4 goals to secure the 4 points and keep our top 3 dreams alive. 

Despite the scrappy performance, the team took positives out of their ability to dig deep and get over the line in less than ideal weather. We head back to UWA Sports Park to take on West Coast, as it’s a must win game to finish off the season either 2nd or 3rd.

Goals: Kohlman 6, Davies, Trombetta, Alforque 

Best: Kohlman, Flint, Silk, Davies, Lakey, Culloton 

4 Pines A-Reserves

University 4.8 32 defeated North Fremantle 0.3 3

In typically bizarre fashion, the Ressies game was delayed multiple times due to an ongoing lightning storm on the North Fremantle peninsula. Due to the delay, the game was played with 15 minute quarters rather than the usual 20. This was to the delight of all involved, as it reduced the amount of time spent in Arctic, rainy conditions.

After a 2 hour warm up, the boys were fired up and came out playing some great footy. Captain Hopkinson asserted himself early in the ruck, with Williamson and Gajewski racking up multiple clearances. Crudeli, Culloton and May all managed to put through goals in the first quarter as Uni burst out to a 3 goal lead by quarter time.

Kicking against the breeze in the second, Uni managed to maintain the pressure and controlled much of the quarter. The conditions remained challenging, and it wasn’t until the half time siren did Uni add another goal to the tally. 

The second half was truly one for the purists, with neither side managing to register a goal. As such, the only sound from the handful of fans in the old Gil Fraser grandstand was the sound of laughter, as the spectators enjoyed the antics of the players in slippery and muddy conditions. A brief recap of amusing moments include:

• Jacob Orr attempting to soccer the ball, missing it, and falling over
• Coach McAuliffe playing the second quarter with his left ear and jersey coated in bird poo
• Hopkinson taking the ball out of the ruck, only to stand totally still and be crunched by his opponent
• The North Freo coach walking along the boundary towards the pocket, pointing to the spot on the ground he wanted his players to kick the ball to
• Ollie O’Meehan being treated us a human pinball
• Several uni players executing 5m kicks directly to the opponent
• Charlie Mitchell executing a running torpedo

It certainly wasn’t pretty, but we got the job done and move on to our final home and away game against West Coast, with finals remaining a possibiliy.

Goals: 2 Crudeli 1 Culloton, May

Best: Culloton, Hopkinson, Williamson, Mantaras, Orr, Lowson, Halliday, Donovan, Crudeli  

Phil Scott A-Colts

University 11.4 70 defeated North Fremantle 3.1 19

Crossing Law A-Grade Women Stormers

University 1.3 9 defeated by Warnbro 2.2 14

UWA will be eager to bounce back in the second week of A-grade finals after an unfortunate late free kick was all that stood between the Stormers and victory against Warnrbo.

The heartbreaking five point loss has given the Stormers plenty of motivation ahead of Saturday’s showdown against North Beach at McGillvray, with the winner set to advance into a preliminary final.

But first the Stormers needed to reflect on what went wrong against the Swans, falling 2.2 (14) to 1.3 (9) after Warnrbo converted a late free kick to pull ahead when it mattered.

After finishing third and earning a second chance, the Stormers weren’t going to let anything rain on their parade in their march towards a grand final.

But Mother Nature is a b**ch and it literally started hailing within the first two minutes of the first quarter.

We should’ve known we were in for a wet and windy affair when 50-gamer Molly Goldacre’s banner was nearly swept up in a particularly strong gust.

Warnrbo had the first say of the afternoon, converting the first of the match with an unlikely shot from the boundary.

Just before quarter time, Phoebe Vlahov hit back to even the ledger with a delightful long range shot, reading the conditions like a six year old at a Scholastic book fair.

The Stormers dominated field position in the second quarter but couldn’t get any scoreboard reward, going into half-time with a slim three point margin.

As the intensity rose during the third quarter, so did the heart rates of the small but loyal group of spectators who made the trip south.

Resident team manager Chris Simpson had one particular moment of mayhem, mistaking Isla Holmes sitting on the bench (who had rugged up in a hoodie for warmth) for a fan.

In blind panic, Simpson began screaming at Liz Drake to come to the bench, somehow believing the Stormers had an extra number on field and fearing a headcount was incoming.

After a tense start to the final quarter, Warnbro made the most of a golden opportunity to hit the front.

It sparked the most frenetic five minutes of football this season as the Stormers surged late.

UWA put their bodies on the line, including Reilly when she bravely disregarded her own safety got absolutely yeeted 5 metres by a massive hip and shoulder as a Swan lined her up in a race to the goal square.

Despite the Stormers brave efforts, the siren caught UWA five points but they head into Saturday’s semi final with North Beach knowing club legend Neil Donaldson will be watching on in the third instalment of his tribute match this season.

Brewhub C4-Grade Pirates

University 10.11 71 defeated North Fremantle 6.5 41

The pirates finished up season 2022 with an enjoyable win, kicking North Fremantle out of finals contention on a blustery day. 

The boys went into the match knowing that it was likely to be their last game so were instructed to go out and just have fun. With the strongest lineup named in weeks, the Pirates were confident of a good contest. 

Late inclusion Snicko led the way, with his trademark tackling pressure leading to three holding the balls in a row (Should have been four). The rest of the team followed suit, attacking the contest ferociously and getting to the ball first. 

As always, Smally was a target up forward, constantly competing while being double teamed by the opposition. This freed up Justy, with the Forward line desperately chasing down the ‘injured’ Bres in the goalkicking leaderboard. 

Despite the challenging conditions, the side were consistent for the whole afternoon and looked like a well oiled machine. 

Although the Pirates didn’t make finals, it was a great year with the coaches scrambling to make a side with only three returning pirates named in the round one team. Finishing with a tally of 9-9 was a fair assessment of the team with a great chance to carry the squad in to next season and challenge again.

The season was capped off by the North Freo boys finding out they had been kicked out of finals in the rooms after the game, met with much enjoyment from the shirtless Pirates.

BDO C4-Reserves Dingoes

University 12.12 84 defeated North Fremantle 2.0 12

Big Al kicked an 80m torp.

Subi Hotel Laurie Keene Colts C-Gulls

University 12.9 81 defeated Swan Valley 6.5 41

The Gulls returned to the winners list on Saturday morning with an upbeat dub out in the Valley. Losing Rohrza on Friday night to the corona was a nasty blow, but the backline stepped up to fill the void. This included Paggo, who on debut showed his trademark poise and class. Fish invested midweek in some replacement boots after finally conceding strapping tape up the entire shoe up isn’t a sustainable tactic. The revelation worked a treat, with Gillman bursting off half back all day and pulling off a few huge spoils. 

The game’s second goal was one of the most bizarre for the year. Pickle Ric gathered 30 out, turned quickly and threw a ratchet snap over the shoulder. The crowd started murmuring about how the attempt will feature on the dribble file and the Swan Valley defender stood comfortably, ready to take the ball tumbling right at him. Suddenly, the Burley jolted about 1.9m into the sky, taking an arc over the defender’s head and sailing into the goal umpire’s arms. 

The boys grabbed this slither of luck with gusto and stormed through the contest playing with confidence and style. Some of the offensive transition was sublime and ferocious tackling was back in a big way. A defensively lacklustre 3rd term was the only thing standing in the way of a 4-quarter performance. 

 It was Sauce who ran away with the Players Players votes and 5 from the coaches after an absolutely dominant ruck display and some seriously creative handballs that left the bench throwing around Polly Farmer comparisons. 

Overall, it was a great performance from the Gullers to finish a successful home and away season. The real stuff starts this Saturday, with a mouth-watering elimination final against Coolbina in Queens Park. 

Best – Moore, Holder, Lennon, Gillman, Barber, Brogan, Huxley, Paul, Brown

Goals – Lennon 4, Brogan, Holder 2, Braddock, Greenland, Huxley, Barber

Brett Jones Colts 

University 8.9 57 def North Fremantle 0.6 6

Going into the final home and away game of the season, the Pups brought in an undermanned team, with 6 changes from last week’s team, 2 further late outs and 2 in-game injuries. With our CHB and CHF and FF out due to covid/gulls thievery, we came in very short. Luckily, the conditions suited our lack of height. It was a weird game as the Pups, despite our clear dominance and superior ball movement, couldn’t quite get the score on the board. Coach Kane stepped up and did the boundary umpiring, something which hopefully doesn’t happen again. His huge muscles resulted in the ball soaring over the ruckmen on several occasions. 

Australian political royalty was down at MCG2, with Skipper Hodgeys father and former Premier of Tasmania making the trip to support. Hodgey turned it on and had a blinder. Cooky kicked a great goal. Charlie hurt himself. Kroey got a boo boo. Buckman was dominant. Toshi played in the midfield. North Freo tried to enter the score as 57-48 despite them not kicking a goal. What a game.